Having your child come home and say that someone degraded their race is something that every parent dreads. It’s something that most parents aren’t prepared for. Read on for strategies to prevent this or to take the right steps if your child has already experienced a form of racism.

What is Racism?

When people think of racism they tend to belive that saying, “you don’t see color” is the best way to deal with it. However, this is turning a blind eye to racism and doing more harm than good. (Kamenetz, 2019) It is perfectly fine to acknowledge that everyone is different and that there are many different skin tones, the problem is when someone devalues someone becasue of their differences. Stereotypes are embedded in our minds, and they are created by history overtime. (Rhuday-Perkovich, 2018) Because of this, it is important to have a racism talk with your kids. Racism is something that has caused wars in the past, so it is important that the children of our future understand that every race matters.

Where to Begin When Having the Talk

• Have the talk as early as possible. For many kids, racism happens at school, so you more than likely will not be around when they face racism. Having this talk early allows for your child to be prepared instead of learning about it from outside sources.
• Children aren’t colorblind. Children can see color so you should not be color silent. (Kamenetz, 2019)Don’t shut them down when they come to you and talk about race even if you aren’t ready.
• Media is helpful. If you aren’t ready to have the talk, the best thing to do is find a movie or read a book about racism to educate you and your child. Find stories that have multidimensional characters and not just one hero. (Rhuday-Perkovich, 2018)This allows for your child to see that there isn’t just one type of hero and there are heros from every background.
• Share stories. Sharing personal stories is the most powerful tool when talking about racism. (Collins, 2019) If you have personally experienced racism, then you should share that story because it will show your child where you are coming from.
• Any conversation is beneficial. Having no conversation at all is the worst conversation to have. (Kelly, 2018)Even if you don’t know where to start, it is best to say something to your child about race so they are somewhat educated and prepared. You could even research ‘race’ together at the library.
• Do more than just talk. Show them why learning about other races is important. Grab a crayon box and show them how boring it would be to have only one colored crayon in the whole box.
• Be a positive role model. If you degrade people in front of your child, then they will think that this is ok and begin to do it themselves. Be a positive role model and show them how to treat everyone with respect, no matter what color they are. Children get their behaviors and views from their parents.

What To Do if Your Kid Has Experienced Racism

On study showed that out of 277 students, 88.4% of them said they experience racism at some point in their life. (Patcher, et al., 010) This number is extremely high, and it shows how common racism is. Being called a derogatory name in school was the most reported form of racism. (Patcher, et al., 2010) Here’s what you can do if your child has been devalued in school.

• Continue to talk with them and defy the hateful messages that they were exposed to.
• Take an active stance and get their teachers involved. Studies show that when a parent advocates for their child, it made them have self-advocacy and also advocacy for other students.
• Ask their teacher to incorporate lessons about race so students can see how important it is to be respectful to everyone and how everyone matters.

Racism Talk Dont’s

• Don’t ignore your child. If your child comes to you with an issue involving race, then GET INVOLVED. Again, no conversation is the worst one to have. Ignoring your child will only allow racism to continue to be a huge part of our lives.
• Avoid degrading other races. If you talk to your child about valuing all races, and then turn around and call someone a derogatory name in front of them, it only shows them that you don’t mean what you say.

Racism will not go away on its own. Its up to us to teach our future that there are people of all shades and colors, and we are all the same on the inside. If this conversation is not had, then children will face negativity in the outside world and not know how to handle it. (Collins, 2018) Remember, the choices you make around your child influences the way they look at life and how they react to it. (Hagerman, 2018)

Sources:

Pachter, L. M., Bernstein, B. A., Szalacha, L. A., & Coll, C. G. (2010). Perceived Racism and Discrimination in Children and Youths: An Exploratory Study. Health & Social Work, 35(1), 61–69. doi: 10.1093/hsw/35.1.61

Talking Race With Young Children. (2019, February 25). Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=691961968.

Rhuday-Perkovich, O. (2019, February 3). How to Talk to Kids About Race: Books That Can Help. Retrieved from https://www.readbrightly.com/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-race-books-and-resources-that-can-help/.

Kelly, Elyse. “How to Talk to Your Kids About Race.” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/573184/talk-kids-race/.

Hagerman, Margaret A. “Why White Parents Can’t Just Talk to Their Kids About Racism.” Time, Time, 4 Sept. 2018, Retrieved from time.com/5362786/talking-racism-with-white-kids-not-enough/.

Collins, Elsa Marie, and Latina. “How to Talk to Your Kids About Race.” Parents, Retrievd from http://www.parents.com/kids/responsibility/racism/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-race/.